I’ve done thousands of readings for people all over the world. About 35% reach out to me to ask about a current relationship situation, or a potential relationship partner. I’ve been listening to the advice their guides give them, and I’ve learned that love is not enough to build a great, long-lasting relationship.
The true measure of how successful a relationship is going to be comes down to one thing: compatibility.
You can carry all the love in the world for your partner, but if you don’t have a compatible lifestyle, the relationship will become strained, most likely to the breaking point.
Here are some examples:
One partner does recreational drugs and the other avoids them.
One partner loves going out on the town, but the other likes sitting at home on a Saturday night with a good book.
One partner wants children and the other does not.
One partner works out every day and is super healthy, and the other partner avoids exercise and healthy eating like the plague.
One partner is a raw vegan and the other is a die-hard carnivore.
One partner saves money and the other spends it the moment it lands in the bank account.
One partner loves to travel and the other couldn’t care less about seeing the world.
One partner wants to have sex every day and the other is happy with once a month.
One partner loves movies and video games, and the other thinks those activities rot your brain.
Why Compatibility Workarounds Usually Don’t Work
Some people think you can compartmentalize the areas where there is incompatibility, for example one partner travels with friends while the other partner stays home, or the person who likes to save money tosses it into a savings account that the other partner cannot access. Or the raw vegan and the carnivore eat separately.
To some extent you can find workarounds to your incompatible lifestyle goals, but it doesn’t usually last. The differences in the way you want to live eventually tear at the fabric of the relationship. Resentment builds. You reach an impasse.
Eventually you realize that love is not enough to make you happy inside the relationship. What seems to make for a successful relationship is spending time doing activities you both love, or sharing a mindset that is largely the same.
Compatibility Trumps Love
I have read for thousands of people who love their partners dearly, but they have nothing in common, they don’t want to live the same way, and they’ve been doing the compromise dance for years, or they are trying to change their partners to like new things.
It doesn’t work.
So my advice is the advice that comes from the many spirit guides who have given wisdom to my clients.
Don’t just fall in love with your partner, fall in like. Before you make any sort of long-term commitment to a person, make sure you want the same things in life. Make sure you want to live the same way.
Otherwise you will be unhappy for a very long time.
Read: The Definitive Guide to Soul Mates and Attracting a Great Relationship
How To Let Go of an Ex
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