Since 2006 I’ve worked with more than 30,000 clients worldwide and I’d say about 35% of them ask a question about their relationship. I’ve been able to glean the top three reasons people are staying in bad relationships, and I want to share those with you so you can see if you relate, and also to tell you what most people’s spirit guides tell them.
Here we go…
Fear of Being Alone
According to my own internal data, the top reason people stay in bad relationships is because they fear being alone. Alone physically, socially, financially, spiritually, and emotionally.
They fear being alone so much that they are willing to tolerate infidelity, abuse, financial ruin, addiction, mismatched parenting styles, gaslighting, constant frustration, resentment, and incessant arguing in order to avoid being alone.
They would rather be with someone, anyone, than be on their own. Can you relate to this?
Religious and Cultural Values
I’ve also heard from many of my clients that their religion or cultural norms do not allow for divorce or separation, and in some cases their marriages were arranged by their families without any consideration of compatibility.
People in these situations often feel they must make the best of it because they feel they have no other choice. They often drift away from their partners and try to carve out joy for themselves in other ways, for example by having affairs with others, both physical and emotional.
To them, getting a divorce is too great a break from tradition so they suffer quietly. Can you relate to this?
Fixing a Partner
The third reason I see clients staying in bad relationships is that they feel they can “fix” their partner. They have a vision of how they want their partner to behave and do everything in their power to try to convince their partner to change.
Despite years of evidence that the partner has no interest in changing their behavior, these clients continue to try to figure out how to stuff their “square” partner into a “circle.”
They say things like, “If I could just get him to listen to me when I speak, we’d be great.” Or “If I could just get her to stop talking to her mom so much, I’d be so happy.”
I’ve had clients who have been in traditional therapy for years trying to figure out what sort of healing they need in order to make their partner love them.
And others who put demands on their partners like, “If you would just lose weight, get a job, cook better, and be willing to have more sex we could be so happy!”
Can you relate to feeling like you can fix your partner? Is your partner trying to fix you?
What the Guides Say
When I do readings for clients in troubled relationships, I’ve noticed that their spirit guides often bring up a few questions.
“What price are you paying to be in a bad relationship?”
“What is it costing you in terms of your happiness, ease, and peace of mind to stay in a difficult relationship?”
“What kind of life do you think you’d have if you were with someone with whom you were more compatible?”
What the Clients Say
Clients usually bring up the following reasons why they stay. See if you can relate to any of these.
“I’ve put so many years into this relationship, I’d hate to start over.”
“My family would be so disappointed in us if we separated. I couldn’t hurt them like that.”
“I really think he could change if I could just make him see how happy we could be.”
How the Guides Respond
Starting over is hard, for sure, but living your entire life in a bad relationship might be even harder. If you knew you would end up in a better relationship, would you leave the one you’re in right now?
Yes, your family might be disappointed in your decision to separate, but they are not the ones that have to live day in and day out with an unloving partner. You deserve to be happy.
If he hasn’t changed in 10 years he’s not going to change now. He likes who he is, he doesn’t feel like he should have to change, he feels like you should accept him. You don’t have the right to expect someone to be other than what they desire to be. Your only choice is to either accept it and stop trying to fix your partner, or seek a partner who doesn’t need “fixing.”
Do The Guides Always Recommend a Break-Up?
Not all bad relationships have to be tossed out the window. I’ve seen spirit guides help a client navigate their way through a rough spot by giving them insight on what their partner is feeling and how best to bring up delicate subjects. Or how to set boundaries so your well-being is not violated. And they often discuss communication strategies that can bring you together on the same page.
It’s also important to understand that your partner should not be expected to fulfill every single need you have. If you love to do something that your partner doesn’t, don’t force them to love it with you. Instead find others who like to do it and do it with them. For example if you love shopping, go with someone else who loves it instead of forcing your partner to go with you. When you’re with your partner, do the things you both enjoy.
Bottom Line
You deserve to be happy. Before you get in a relationship it’s important to know exactly who your partner is so you can properly evaluate your long-term compatibility.
But if you find yourself already in a bad relationship, your guides want you to know that they will help you transition to better relationship, but first you need to let go of what isn’t working for you.
It’s up to you to decide what you will have from this day forward. But really think about the price you’re paying to stay in a bad relationship.
