Today we’re going to talk about suicide and then there’s going to be a survey at the end that you can take (anonymously) and I’ll share the results in next week’s article.
I’ve done readings for thousands of clients, from every part of the world and from various cultures. I do attract a lot of clients who are suicidal, or who have lost someone to suicide. I’ve also discussed suicide with many of my friends and family over the years.
What I’ve noticed is that the desire to commit suicide strikes a lot of people. I’m not saying everyone on Earth will eventually consider suicide at some point in their lives, but I have found it’s far more prevalent than I ever thought.
The first time I can remember considering suicide was after a boy I liked in high school betrayed me hard. I felt rejected and hurt at the depths of my being for his deceit and betrayal. The sudden ripping away of love left me low, depleted, and suffering from a massive loss of self-esteem. I didn’t know how I would recover. Death seemed a preferable option. But I got past it and healed.
Another time I developed suicidal thoughts was after I was prescribed a drug designed to help my diabetes. The medication was really effective, but it made me sick 3-4 nights a week with painful vomiting that would last hours. I noticed that while I was sick, I started seriously considering suicide.
At first I thought it was just the discomfort and pain, but I realized that these thoughts were intense, urgent, and shocking. When I wasn’t feeling sick from the drug I was perfectly fine. It got so bad at night, though, that I used to have to ask my daughter to come sit with me because I was truly afraid I would so something permanent to escape the pain.
After researching the medication I saw that suicidal thoughts was a known side effect! I went off the drug immediately, but it took a while for my system to reset itself.
I think there were a total of 4 times in my life where I felt like dying would release me from either unbearable emotional or physical pain, and it was something I seriously considered. I am grateful to have gotten past those thoughts but I can’t say they will never come back.
So I started wondering what keeps people from committing suicide? I made a mental inventory of what I knew from the clients I had read for.
This is some of what I’ve found:
Some people have share with me that there are religions which “forbid” suicide and which tell you that you will go to Hell if you kill yourself. If you believe that’s true then that’s a pretty strong deterrent, I grant you that!
Others have told me they would absolutely kill themselves except they are caring for children and will not leave them no matter what.
Some have said they are their family’s sole source of financial support and won’t take that away from their dependents.
Some people have told me they want to suicide to get back at someone who has hurt them. “I’ll show them!” but in the end that anger is not quite strong enough to end their life.
Some people have told me they are just too “chicken” to do it, otherwise they would.
Some have told me they are trying to hang on as long as possible but won’t rule out suicide in the future.
Some people have attempted suicide in the past and regretted it, but it stays in the back of their mind as an option should the need arise.
I’ve heard from some folks who are in incredible physical pain but are still grateful for their lives and want to spend as much time with family as possible.
And some people have told me they fear death so much that they are willing to remain here in pain to avoid the unknown.
So I’m curious. Have you ever considered committing suicide? What stopped you?
Please take this survey and I’ll post the results next week on June 29, 2021.
The survey will close on June 26, 2021 so I have time to tabulate the results and put together an article.
If you decide to share your story, thank you! I think it will help others to know they are not alone.
