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with Erin Pavlina

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5 Decisions That Can Ruin Your Life

As an intuitive counselor, I’ve done readings for thousands of people, all of whom desire to shift their lives onto a new path that will make them happy.

When I tune in, my client’s spirit guides will tell me what my client most needs to know to have a life that fulfills and excites them.

From the readings I’ve done, I’ve been able to determine where people generally go wrong. I can see the decisions people have made that led them down a road that resulted in sadness, pain, and feeling trapped.

Heed the advice from the other side… do not make these mistakes.

Letting Someone Else Choose Your Career Path
This is a big one. People are often influenced into picking a career path by their parents, their friends, their teachers, and even society. I have encountered many people who are in their current profession because someone else made the decision for them.

I had a client from India who was working as a software engineer, but her true passion was art. She was told in no uncertain terms that becoming an artist was not allowed. Her parents told her that she must be a doctor or go into software. They would not support her unless she did as she was told. So she did.

She became a software engineer, moved to America, got married, had kids, and at the age of 45 was miserable. She really came alive when her guides suggested she take some art classes and show her work in a local artist’s showcase. Less than a year later, she was sharing her work with the public and had learned dozens of techniques.

A year after that she was making one of a kind pieces of jewelry and selling them on the internet. Her life was vastly improved once she made the decision to follow her bliss.

If you’re not sure what you want to be when you grow up, that’s fine, take your time figuring it out, but do not pick a path someone else wants for you or you will be very unfilled and trapped.

Staying with the Wrong Partner
This is another big one. I have encountered thousands of people who were trying to make things work with a partner that was actually not remotely suited for them. Why do people stay with partners that don’t make them happy?

For one, they feel like they’ve already put in so much time and energy. They want to force it to work. “I’m not starting all over!”

Another reason is hoping, wanting, or expecting their partner to change. “He’s so close to a breakthrough. I can’t leave now! I know he can change!’

Or the other classic, “I would rather stay with her than be alone.”

When you stay with a partner who is not well suited to you, you are robbing four people of the opportunity to be happy. That’s yourself, your partner, and the two other people out there who would be better suited for you and for your partner.

If you’re waiting for your partner to magically become what you need, you’ll be waiting a very long time. Most people don’t change because they don’t want to change. And anyone who changes to make you happy can easily become resentful, or they will slip back into their old habits at some point.

Hold out for a partner who is a good match for you as they are, not as they might become. It’s okay to let go of someone you’ve spent years with. People change over time. If you’re no longer compatible, let go and find a new partner.

Engaging in Unhealthy Habits
You know which habits I’m talking about. The ones you feel ashamed of. The ones that harm your health. The ones that erode your vessel and put you in an early grave. Whether that’s over eating, eating the wrong foods, doing drugs, drinking too much alcohol, never exercising, smoking, or anything else that abuses the body, there will come a point where you will wish you could take it all back so you felt better.

Your body has to last you a lifetime. If you don’t take care of it, it cannot take care of you. Eventually you will get to a point of no return where you cannot find your way back to health, and people in that situation would give anything to feel healthy again.

Take care of your body from the get go. Give it the health it needs to carry you through a long and strong life. The people I’ve read for who have lost their health regret the actions that led them there.

Spending More Than You Make
It’s an unfortunate truth that in this world you need money to get necessary, life-sustaining resources such as food, clothing and shelter.

In America at least, people are encouraged to buy on credit so there is no delay in having what they want. But debt leads to downfall. Once you are in debt it’s very difficult to get out of debt unless you have a complete shift in your mind set.

If you want it, pay for it in full. If you don’t have enough money, wait until you do. Paying interest (and compound interest at that) makes you a slave to the money lender.

People commit suicide over money issues. Don’t put more on your plate than you can comfortably afford.

I’ve got a friend who made a very conscious decision to live on just 10% of her income when she was in her 20’s, and she banked the rest of it. At age 30 she is retired, and living off the interest she earns each year on her principal. She is not stressed about money at all.

Stay in control of your spending. Your future self will be so glad you did.

Choosing the Wrong Friends
You become like the people with whom you spend the most time. Look at the six people closest to you, the ones you spend the most time with. Have you adopted their habits or values? Do you give yourself permission to engage in activities you know are bad for you because your friends are all doing it?

Do your friends uplift you or bring you down? Do they support you or betray you behind your back? Are they helping you or keeping you stagnant? Do they give you the hard truths or watch you spiral out of control and take secret delight in your suffering?

Who you spend your time with matters. If you want to change your life for the better, find friends who are aligned with who you are and who you want to be.

If you are deeply into health, hang out with people who love to exercise or eat healthy foods.

If you are very into spirituality, hang out with people who like to practice their spirituality the way you do.

Great friends will enrich your life experience and bring you joy. Take great pains to select your friends like you’re selecting your life path, because your friends will have a huge influence in how you turn out.

In Summary
Make very mindful, conscious decisions about your life path. Every direction you go cuts off another direction you could have gone. The people who are happiest and most fulfilled are walking their own path; they’ve chosen which mountain they want to climb and have brought people with them who want to climb the same mountain.

Life is too short to fall into one of the above traps. Take stock of where you are right now and make changes if you need to. You will be glad you did.

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