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with Erin Pavlina

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Weaving Your Tapestry

The other day my son asked me this question, “Mom, how do I know if I’m living my life the right way? How do I know what choices I should make? What if I choose the wrong path?”

I said, “Think of your life like a tapestry that you are weaving. You are given threads of various colors, and you are given a loom to weave your threads. But you are the one who decides what your tapestry will depict. You get to decide what colors to use, what story to weave into the tapestry, and when to add other people’s threads to your tapestry to make your story.

Every time you make a choice, make it as consciously as possible. If there is an offer in front of you, evaluate it like this: Do I want this experience in my tapestry? Do I want to interact with the people this will bring into my life? Will this make my tapestry a more joyful scene or will this bring me sorrow?

You may not know the answer, but give it your best guess. Think about it as consciously as you can.

And if you weave something into your tapestry and you end up hating it, that’s okay. Simply start weaving a new story into the tapestry. The tapestry of your life is yours to create. Don’t let other people tell you what threads to use, and don’t continue to weave a scene if it won’t make you happy. You can stop and change threads any time you want.”

My son said, “What if I don’t know how to weave? What if my tapestry goes nowhere?”

This was my reply.

“You are weaving every day whether you notice it or not by every choice you make. Like right now you’re weaving school into your tapestry. You’ve got a cute cat in your tapestry whom you love and care for every day. There are a lot of video games in your tapestry right now too. Are you putting all those things into your life on purpose or are they just happening to you randomly?

The more consciously you can weave your tapestry, the more your life will be joyful. Be the artist; be the person who decides what that tapestry looks like. Are you weaving laziness or ambition? Are you weaving anxiety or confidence?

Look at what other people are weaving. If you like what you see, you can incorporate some of that into your own tapestry. ”

My son said, “I’ve looked at your tapestry, mom. You are weaving independence, confidence, and good financial sense. And junk food. That’s what I see when I look at your tapestry.”

I smiled, “Yes, that’s true. That’s definitely part of my story. What would you like to see in your tapestry as you grow up?”

He said, “I want to be financially abundant. I want to have love in my life. And I want to feel the freedom to do what I love whenever I want.”

I said, “And so you shall. Start thinking about what you can weave now so that’s what your tapestry looks like later.”

He said, “I think I get it. If I weave bad habits, they will be part of my story later. If I weave smart things into my tapestry I will have a better life later.”

“Yes,” I said. “Weave consciously as much as possible. You have a long way to go and plenty of time to make adjustments and corrections as you go. Appreciate everything that is woven into your tapestry as it becomes your life story. It’s entirely up to you how it looks when you’re done.”

What are you weaving into YOUR tapestry? Are other people imposing their threads on your story? Are you consciously creating the tapestry you want to create?

Examine the tapestry. Look at your story. What needs to change? Appreciate where you’ve come from but get conscious about where you’re going.

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