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with Erin Pavlina

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7 Ways To Hang On When You’re at the End of Your Rope

A lot of the clients I read for are right at the end of their rope. They’ve lost all hope of having a great and happy life. They are tired of trying, tired of waking up in the morning, tired of putting on a brave face for others. They are just done.

Many times I’ve had clients tell me simply, “You’re the last person I am going to speak to before I kill myself.”

That used to scare me. That’s a level of responsibility that is high for anyone. But when I do a reading, it’s not me that has to give the advice, it’s the client’s guides. I just need to listen, pass on what they are saying, and hope it makes sense and brings hope and relief to my clients.

And I’ve borne witness to many people hearing exactly what they needed to hear from their guides to keep going, to keep trying, to get up the next day and live some more. To thrive even.

It’s an honor to serve people in this way. It’s an honor to be part of their healing process, and to witness the power our spirit guides wield to help us find the light when we’re drowning in the dark.

As I have been a professional intuitive for more than a decade and I have served many thousands of clients, I’ve learned some things from the other side that I hope will help someone out there who might be reading this. This is what I’ve learned:

1. Tell Someone How Badly You’re Hurting
Most people who flirt with suicide don’t want to be a burden on their loved ones, so they tell everyone they are okay even when they are not. They don’t want to disturb anyone else’s happiness and joy by speaking of their own heartache and suffering.

Pick one person in your life who is compassionate, kind, caring and empathetic and let them know your situation. Simply tell this person, “Would it be okay with you if I shared some thoughts I’m having? I need to talk to someone. I am not expecting anything in particular from this conversation. I just need to say the words out loud.”

If your friend or loved one agrees to listen, tell them everything. The act of sharing your heartache helps relieve you of the strain of burying it every single day. Speaking about your situation can even help you find solutions you hadn’t thought of. And naturally, your friend or loved one is going to offer you some advice which may be practical and helpful to your situation.

Share, and then listen. Share the burden with someone you trust. The right person will be grateful you came to them and gave them a chance to help you.

2. Release Negative or Toxic People
A lot of my suicidal clients are engaged in relationships that truly cannot serve them. They are in abusive relationships, or in toxic friendships, where their self-esteem, personal power, and confidence are being stepped on repeatedly.

This can wear anyone down. Take an honest look at the people in your life and step as far away as you can from people who bring down your vibration. It’s hard. They’re familiar. You know them. But if you hang on to toxic or abusive energy it’s like puncturing the gas tank; you will never be full again.

The act of releasing toxic energy can lift your vibration enough to remove the suicidal feelings.

3. Get Real Practical
Many of my suicidal clients have severe money troubles. They are far in debt with little or no income. Perhaps they are about to lose their home. When you have money troubles, you have to get real practical real fast.

Take a second job to earn more money if you can. It’s not fun, but it can potentially dig you out of a hole. Babysit, deliver food, run errands for the elderly, do handyman chores. Find another source of income.

Sell anything you don’t need. I had a client who had severe money trouble but was hanging on to three homes even though he was only living in one. He didn’t want to part with the other properties. Once he did, though, he was no longer sinking into debt and he told me he felt free for the first time in his life – no longer buried under three mortgages.

Move in with someone to save money. Move in with a friend, family member or co-worker. Or get a roommate to share your expenses. Downsize your living situation to save money.

Work on getting a higher income. Study and learn more so you are a more valuable member of the work force. Give up the “struggling artist” syndrome and get a job that pays you enough money to live and do your art on the side until it can support you. Earning enough money to have food, shelter and clothing is your number one goal. From there you can work your way into a job you love more.

4. Find One Positive Thought, and Then Another
A lot of my suicidal clients can’t find a single thing that’s going right in their lives. Everything is crashing down. Everything is hopeless. Everything is just over. They can’t see any light at all in their lives.

But there is always a light somewhere if you look for it. Look for the thoughts that are at a higher vibration than what you’re experiencing.

“At least I can walk.”
“At least I don’t have to pay for sunshine.”
“At least there are people who love me.”
“At least I am capable of getting a job.”
“At least I have a job.”

Once you begin to speak more positively in your mind, better thoughts come after that. If you let positive thoughts come into your brain, there is a snowball effect and you begin to lift yourself up one thought at a time.

“At least I have a job” can become “And it pays my bills. I can work on getting more hours or ask for a promotion to the next level.”

“At least I have people who love me” can become, “And they would be willing to let me live with them while I get back on my feet.”

You won’t climb up out of the pit if you keep burying your mind with more dirt. Find the ladder of positive thoughts and use it to climb out of the pit.

5. Help Someone Else
It may seem counterintuitive to help someone when you have nothing left in the tank, but helping others who are in need does two things. First, it reminds you that you have value. When you can help others, you are indeed quite valuable. And second, the gratitude you get from someone you help will raise your vibration instantly, and it’s from that vibration that new, better, more empowering thoughts will come.

6. Find Your Passion
I did a reading for a guy who was deeply in debt and he was working as a janitor for a large store. He told me he would never be out of debt and he didn’t see the point in living any longer. When I tuned in to his guides they showed me a book cover. It was a Stephen King novel and his guides told me to remind him of his dream to become a horror novel writer. When I told him what I was seeing, the man gasped and said “How did you know that’s always been my dream? I never thought I could be successful at that but I even took a writing course from Stephen King so I could learn to write just like him. That is unbelievable that you would get that.”

I told him it was his guides reminding him of his dream and that it was absolutely still within his grasp. He was blown away by the idea that he could actually follow that dream and succeed at it. His guides gave him some pointers and information and when I got off the phone with that client he was excited to give writing another chance.

When you tap into your passion it will give you wings. Follow your bliss, follow your joy, no matter how big or small the step, make a move on that path. It will uplift you and remind you why you are alive.

7. Let Go of Needing and Wanting Things To Be a Certain Way
One of the games we play with ourselves is needing things to be a certain way in order to be happy. I’ve read for countless clients who felt their lives were over because their lives weren’t going exactly the way they wanted. They wanted their ex-husband to take them back. They wanted to win the lottery so they’d never have to work again. They wanted that certain girl to fall in love with them. They wanted to look a certain way.

Sometimes you have to accept your reality and let go of trying to get things outside your control. Otherwise you are banging your head against the wall. It’s like the fly who is trying to get out of the closed window when there is an open door behind him.

Look at your life carefully. Maybe you don’t have something because it’s not actually going to serve you. Maybe losing that girlfriend will allow you to find someone more suitable for you. Maybe losing that one job will allow you to pursue something you’re more passionate about. Maybe losing the home (and the mortgage) will help you financially. Release, let go, and see what’s left. Maybe your guides are trying to turn you in a new direction that will serve you better.

***
When you feel like you want to check out of life, stop for a minute and consider all the ways you can change the variables in your life so that you end up with a new result. Even changing just a few things could be enough to get you moving again on a more positive path.

Your guides can offer you some insight into your situation too. I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. If you need help and you want to get your guides’ advice, book a session with me and we’ll see what they have to say.

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