Someone asked me recently to discuss what it means spiritually and energetically when someone cheats in a relationship.
When I do readings, I often am speaking to people who have a cheating partner or who are themselves cheating on someone.
Since there are a lot of people in a relationship where one or both partners are cheating, I agreed to write an article about what it means energetically.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked, and the answers that go with them.
Why do some people choose to cheat on their partners?
People who cheat are exercising their free will to go obtain something they desire. People cheat for so many different reasons but usually it’s to find physical or emotional intimacy with a partner because they aren’t perceiving that they are getting it in their current relationship.
Does it violate a covenant with their current partner?
Yes. But that covenant does not stop someone who has made the decision to manifest something they want.
Is it wrong to cheat on someone?
If two people make an agreement to be monogamous and one of them violates that agreement, then there will be natural consequences, but I wouldn’t say it in terms of “right” or “wrong.” It is merely choices and consequences. I would also say that deceit in a partnership usually doesn’t end well. Avoid deceit if you want to have a strong and long-lasting relationship with a person.
If someone cheats on me, does that mean I deserved it?
No. When someone cheats it means they wanted something they felt they weren’t getting in their lives, and went after it until they got it. You are not required to fill the needs of your partner, but if the partner’s needs aren’t getting met, then sometimes they get them met elsewhere.
Should I stay with a partner who cheated on me?
Only you can decide what you will do. I’ve known some couples who absolutely love each other completely and fully but there is no sexual relations in the marriage and they don’t mind if their partner has their sexual needs met elsewhere. I also know couples for whom cheating is a deal breaker 100% of the time. I would say, “Stay if you are happy with your relationship as it is, and if it is not serving you, then seek a relationship that does.”
Will my partner suffer bad karma if he cheats on me?
No. If he is in full alignment with his actions, he will continue to manifest what he desires. But that doesn’t mean you have to accept and stay with a partner who is doing something contrary to what you desire to have in your life. If he is not in alignment with his actions, he will experience a correction that will send him in another direction.
Did I attract this into my life?
You attracted what you desired, and then what you desired (your partner) went off and attracted something he desired. Sometimes your partner is in absolute alignment with you when you first meet and everything is fantastic, then over time your needs change. Instead of addressing the lack of alignment, some people will sneak off to get what they desire because they don’t want to lose the good things they have with their current partner, but want new things with another partner.
How can I avoid being cheated on?
You can’t control another person or their actions, but you can communicate with your partner in a way that makes it clear what the consequences are if they cheat on you. You could say something like, “I desire to be in a monogamous relationship. If you ever feel the need to cheat on me, just let me know that your needs aren’t being met inside our relationship so that I can then decide if I want to meet those needs or if indeed you will need to get your needs met somewhere else. Don’t hide it from me. That is unnecessary. If you decide you are unhappy or done with our relationship, let me know so we can both find partners we’re happier with.”
How do you cope with the fact that you were cheated on?
People cope differently, but I have found during readings with clients that the ones that are able to energetically move on the fastest are the ones who have not put all their eggs into one basket, who still maintain a self-sufficiency that allows them to continue on without economic or emotional loss, and who have higher self-esteem and can bounce back quickly. Whatever you do, do not blame yourself. You are allowed to be exactly who you are, and if that is not a vibrational match for your partner, then let go; don’t change who you are to please someone as that cannot be maintained for long without building resentment.
And here’s my message to the people cheating…
If you are in a relationship that you feel is not meeting your needs, you have several choices:
1. Let go of your partner so you can both find new partners that are more in alignment with what you desire.
2. Be honest with your partner. Let them know what you feel is missing and see if you two, together, can figure out how to get your needs met without being deceitful. Don’t be afraid to lose a relationship that is not serving you.
3. Cheat on your partner and create ripples of disharmony in your relationship that will eventually erode the tapestry you’re weaving together. It’s painful for everyone and most people don’t feel good about the deceit.
The bottom line on cheating is that we have free will. A person can choose to cheat. But definitely don’t feel responsible for the cheating. If both people communicate and are honest about how they’re feeling about the relationship then you can see whether it’s right to continue it or uncouple.
